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Romance Scams: Red Flags and How to Protect Your Heart and Savings

ByGene Castillo

Finding companionship online can bring real joy. Dating apps and social media can be a wonderful way to meet new friends and partners. Sadly, criminals know this too, and some build fake relationships for one purpose: to get money.

These schemes cost people dearly. In its 2025 Internet Crime Report, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) recorded 10,188 complaints of romance or confidence fraud from people 60 and older, with reported losses of more than $584 million. Those are only the cases that were reported.

Falling for a romance scam has nothing to do with intelligence. These are skilled criminals who are very good at earning trust.

How Romance Scams Typically Unfold

According to the FTC, these scams often start with a profile on a dating site or app, or a friendly message on social media. The person is warm and attentive. They may write several times a day.

Before long, they suggest moving the conversation to a private messaging app. They share stories about their life and seem to understand you. Meeting in person always seems to be just around the corner, but something keeps getting in the way.

Then comes a request for money. It may be framed as an emergency, a debt, travel costs, or a fee to get out of trouble. Sometimes, instead, they offer to help you “invest,” often in cryptocurrency.

Red Flags to Watch For

  • They express strong feelings very quickly.
  • They say they live or work far away, such as overseas, on an oil rig, in the military, or with an international organization.
  • They have reasons to avoid video calls or meeting in person.
  • They want to move off the dating site or social media platform quickly.
  • A sudden crisis comes up, such as a medical bill, a frozen bank account, or legal fees.
  • They bring up investments, crypto, or precious metals.
  • They ask for money by wire transfer, gift card, payment app, or cryptocurrency.
  • They encourage you to keep the relationship secret or to pull away from family and friends.

The FTC’s advice is simple and firm: never send money or gifts to someone you haven’t met in person. AARP adds that if someone you’ve never met asks for financial help, even once, it’s a scam.

Ways to Protect Yourself

  1. Take things slowly and ask lots of questions. Notice whether the answers stay consistent.
  2. Do a reverse image search on their profile photos. If the pictures show up under another name, that’s a strong warning sign.
  3. Search the person’s name or claimed job along with the word “scammer” to see if others have reported a similar story.
  4. Ask for a live video chat early on.
  5. Be careful about what you share publicly online. Details like your pet’s name or retirement plans can be used to win your trust.
  6. Before making any money decision involving someone you met online, talk it over with a friend, relative, or advisor you trust.
  7. If something feels off, stop contact.

For Family Members and Friends

If you’re worried that someone you love is caught in a romance scam, how you approach them matters. People in these situations often feel real affection for the person on the other end, and feeling judged can push them away.

  • Start with care, not criticism. Ask about the relationship with genuine interest.
  • Share the red flags gently, as information rather than accusation.
  • Offer to help with a reverse image search together.
  • Remind them that these are professional criminals, and being targeted is not their fault.
  • Stay connected. Scammers often encourage isolation, so regular contact helps.
  • Suggest a call to the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline, which offers free support and guidance to people targeted by scams and to worried loved ones.

What to Do If You’ve Sent Money

  1. Stop sending money and stop contact.
  2. Call your bank, card company, wire service, gift card company, payment app, or crypto exchange right away. Tell them you paid a scammer and ask for a refund or reversal.
  3. Save messages, profiles, and payment records.
  4. Report the profile to the dating site, app, or social network where you met.

Where to Report

  • The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.
  • The FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
  • If you’re 60 or older, the Department of Justice’s National Elder Fraud Hotline at 1-833-FRAUD-11 (1-833-372-8311), Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern Time. It’s free, it’s for people 60 and older, and a case manager can help you figure out where to report.
  • For emotional support and guidance, the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 877-908-3360, Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Time. It offers free support and guidance, whether or not you’re an AARP member.
  • Your local police and your bank or credit union.

Reporting helps investigators and may protect someone else from the same heartbreak.

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